I love wings. Faerie wings, Ladybug wings, angel wings, bat wings and delicately feathered bird wings to name just a few. I have a whole wall in my home devoted to an art collection of different wings. I also have a tickle trunk full of costume wings the likes of pink faeries, green dragonfly and black raven wings – you know for those occasions that call for wings. I have also always wanted to fly…you know when you get asked what superpower you would like to have – mine is always flight – soaring through the air, around trees, in and out of clouds, way above the ground. And as much as squirrels, llamas and every other furbaby I come in contact with love me, birds really really love me and more than a dozen times over my life, they’ve landed on me and stayed awhile so we can make birdy like sounds and become friends. I’m pretty sure I was a bird or flying bug in one of my previous lives.
I also have my own set of wings, dragonfly wings tattooed across my back. They are my spirit animal. It was during a particularly bumpy time after my Mum passed away and I lost my faith in magic and felt frozen, unable to fly. I remember standing in my river under a full moon in that spotlight a full moon debuts and I was yelling and cursing at the universe for letting me down, damning it for making my Mum suffer and daring it to give me a sign that there was still is good and light left in the world. I went to bed that night in my cabin to be woken up the next morning by something tickling my hand. I opened my eyes to see a huge dragonfly just perched on my hand looking me straight in the eyes. I laid there staring at it wondering how did you get into the cottage. How did you find my room and land on me? It just sat there blinking and kind of smiling at me, tilting its little head, in no rush to fly away. It was my sign. The universe sent her to let me know there was still good and light left in the world. As a totem, the dragonfly is the power of light and is symbolic of transformation, being adaptable and finding joy in the lightness of being. The dragonfly lives in two realms: air and water and is the essence of the winds of change delivering messages from the elemental world. That spoke volumes to me, so I had those magnificent wings permanently set on my back to remind me to be light, to always use them to fly high and wide, to explore the skies and watch from above; and when I’m tired or feeling down, they are always there to lift me up.
“She made broken look beautiful
and strong look invincible.
She walked with the Universe
on her shoulders and made it
look like a pair of wings.”
Something amazing is happening. It’s taken a heck of a long time to be this close to something I’ve really, really, really, really wanted for a really really long time. In fact, I’ve been lighting the flame for over 35 years; sometimes very consciously, other times unbeknownst to myself – but the point is when the time is right – the magic makes shit happen!
I’ve been so lucky in my life so far to have done and seen some pretty awesome sauce things and it’s always been driven my insatiable curiosity to explore our world, the universe, what makes us tick or tock, what makes me, me and how to become a better me, a better us with an aim to one love. Travelling to amazing faraway lands has gifted me with perspective, appreciation and a sneak peek into the realm of other cultures. Being in nature, and experiencing remarkable nature continues to fuel and fill my spirit with wonder, awe and proof magic is real. Choosing to be open-minded and open-hearted has bestowed my life with the most extraordinary people who share, celebrate and personify courageous, authentic self- expression. So what’s next?
Burning Man of course!
It’s been a dream of mine, since my twenties to go to this other worldly reunion of kindred spirits… or as the Burners say – “return home”. Simply put – Burning Man is “A city in the desert. A culture of possibility. A network of dreams and doers. This year’s theme is “Radical Ritual” – a celebration, an exploration, a revelation of yet to be. There is no point in defining or describing it – as I believe it is something I need to experience.
And I want to experience this. I’ve manifested it for decades. This January, I built a little Burning Man temple, where I place my hopes and dreams on a daily basis. I’ve connected and been accepted to an incredible tribe of like-minded souls who have invited me to become part of their Burning Man camp and family; and tomorrow… Wednesday, March 22 at 3pm the universe opens its portal to the first step in getting a ticket to the event. I’m going. I know it. I’m meant to be there…but if you could all just send out a little breath of loviation in that direction for me, my spirit will soar to the moon and beyond the stars and when I go, I promise to tuck you all into my make believe pocket and take you along for the ride! Peace, Love & light! xxx
Last week I read a line that spoke volumes to me…”in a gentle way, you can shake the world”. I instantly thought of pompoms, which led me to sprinkling faerie dust and lastly tickling someone with feathers.
It got me thinking about how harsh, how aggressive, how savage our world has become, how the art of patience, benefit of the doubt and second chances has been lost to wars of words and worse. How people have such a bit chip on their shoulders (man that must be heavy to carry around), and the weight of holding onto that grudge or always scrunching your nose up making “that” face of distain. It takes a lot of energy to be grumpy, to be angry, to carry hurt, hang-ups and worse hatred.
So on my hopscotch path to life I ‘m going carry this light thought with me and offer it up to you too….
When you feel like swinging a bat – tickle with a feather.
When someone is spewing “YOU SUCK” obscenities at you – throw some sparkles at them or hand them a unicorn sticker.
When someone (or yourself) is stomping mad – grab those pompoms and shake it baby shake!
“Better than a thousand useless words is one single word that gives peace” Take the gentle path. The Dhammapada
I learned a good lesson today. An uncomfortable lesson and one that will probably take a while to sink in and take effect. This is a new lesson for me, and as always I don’t pretend to be any sort of guru or know-it-all, so take it with a grain of salt and do as thou whilst shall be the whole of the law…I’m just blabbing.
I have decided to not “fake it till I make it” any longer. It has served its purpose. I have decided to dissolve the façade of “acting as if” everything is perfectly hunky dory. Well of course it isn’t and honestly I’m pretty real. I always advocate “you have feel, in order to deal, in order to heal.” I support the whole flag waving, parade marching aspiration of choosing positivity…heck I organized the parade! It’s my rally cry, my go to, my way of being in the world. It’s my choice and will continue to be, because it works. It really works and I believe in it whole heartedly because it has pulled me out of deep holes and helped me focus on the prize, to see and choose the light, over darkness. Its set a strong intention, a mind shift to practicing reaching the finish line, an assumption of first place, achieving the trophy…and hearing the crowd go wild. In fact it works so well and I’ve mastered it so profoundly that I may have overlooked feeling something that needs to be felt. “Oh that little boo-boo”…hmm. And because I am an explorer of truth and discoverer of answers – I’m gonna stumble down a dusty path and kick up some dirt! My problem isn’t with choosing positivity or believing in my ultimate potential, my problem is with the word “fake”…it just doesn’t jive with my commitment to authenticity and being really real.
So I’m going to take my own advice and crack open the vault and reach down into the subterranean caverns of my soul to pull out some bare naked self. I’m gonna relinquish being Super Woman, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc and Maria from the Sound of Music and just be. I mean…this isn’t anything brand new, I like to dig deep and I have in the past, but not completely; and I can tell because there’s this little nugget of wisdom that really wants to be felt and it’s poking me and begging me to let it be recognized, acknowledged and respected. Crazy because that’s the very three things I want for myself. So be it. I will unchain the dungeon, lower the drawbridge, and let the dragons out to play. I will put down my sword and shield, take off the armor and face it and feel it – unguarded, unprotected and real – so I can release it and really be free. And I thought being a Warrior Princess was about being super strong and resilient, now I think I have a better sense of what real bravery feels like.