What a nice thing to say.

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This week was quite a week for compliments!  I was told I was 1 – Abnormal, 2 – Unbelievable and 3 – Indomitable!  All true and all taken as very highly regarded endorsements, kudos and terms of affection – regardless if they were meant that way.  First off – who would EVER want to be normal? CACA-POOHEAD NO! Like my Dad use to say, “Patrick, normal is a setting on a washing machine”. Normal is snoresville boring, predictable, insipid, ho-hum and humdrum. Abnormal is fantastical, curious, uncommon, unusual and unexpected.  In fact, it’s the un in my believable…which leads me to #2 – being undeniably unbelievable. Well thank the Gawds for that!  Of course I am credible and trustworthy – but for me, being believable is just a general term to describe anything we accept as true, even in the absence of absolute proof…kinda like my pet unicorn.  Now being unbelievable says beyond belief, astonishing, unimaginable, like imagination to the power of 11 or as I like to call it pretty darn prodigious.  Yuppers that’s me – larger than life and I will stand tall at 5’4” by it.  Now for indomitable…well I hope so!  I mean what’s the point if you fold early? I’ve always chosen to climb instead of cave in and I’d much rather live a life of “OMG YES” or even “Opps” then “what if”. I also believe in what I believe – especially the unbelievable – so with grace and grits I will dig deep, toes curled into the sand and not give in, I will not subdue my stance and I will never admit defeat.  I am a warrior princess after all.

Now after all these nicey-nice words having been said, it gurgled up a few ponders in my soulpool.  Starting with – compliments matter. They really matter and should be given often and freely.  I make a conscious effort to give at least a dozen away a day. They are effortless gestures of appreciation; acknowledgement and validation that make people feel good. Make people feel like they matter, like they exist.  From a simple “you are so smart and pretty” or “WOW such a clever idea – great work” to “holy awesome rainbow sparkle eye shadow” and “I admire your chutzpah gurl”…just for instance.   Also what’s up with mean people?  Honestly, it’s so easy to take a moment to give someone a pat on the back; why do people feel the need to give you a kick in the shins instead?  Didn’t their mother’s tell them “if you can’t say anything nice – say nothing?”  Mum also said to kill those people with kindness and smother their sadness in nauseating sweetness…which can be hilariously fun and wonderfully squirm-worthy. She also told me to feel empathy for them, because they’re lost and can only find fault with everyone else instead of focusing on fixing their own bumpy bits. I guess they weren’t told they mattered enough.

And lastly but absolutely not leastly, just in case anyone out there isn’t getting the loviation they deserve, or made to feel and be told you matter – I’ve got this for you:

You matter a lot. A heck-of-a-ginormous a lot. You are the reason the sun rises and the moon sheds light. You are one in a million, a trillion, a kabazillion. You light the stars and make them sparkle. Birds sing to you, worms wiggle around in the ground in utter glee and every fur baby on this planet just yearns to be petted by your sweet, gentle touch.  You are a child of love and a loved child and the universe will take good care of you. You are a brave pioneer and a lifter of veils. Good for you! So proud of you! I’m so happy to know you and you mean the world to me. You are the awesome in my sauce.

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A journey of inches.

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I am an impatience bunny.  I have an enormously lengthy list of “to do’s, want to do’s, gotta do’s, should dos and dream to dos” and I want it all now…better yet, yesterday.  I get uber duber excited about lots of things – like the next book I am writing, where I want to travel next – Burning Man; what to make with all the fabric I brought back from Bali, going though my 2000+ photos and making an photo album, then there’s what colour to paint my deck this spring, oh and finding true love and purging my closets, contemplating a new hair doo, deciding where to hang my Balinese art work, and UG…make a grown up, gosh darn dreaded RRSP because that’s the responsible thing to do; oh and I need to buy a new vacuum and I probably should consider exercising before bikini season, omgawd I totally need to paint my toes, look up new pork chop recipes and figure out my purpose and following through with creating a fulfilling future living out my purpose…whatever that fricking purpose is!?!?!?!

Can I go back to Bali and hang out with my monkeys please!?!?!?!!   Why do I do this to myself!?!?!?!?!?  Why do I let my little brain spiral into a tumultuous whirlwind tornado spinning completely out of control and knocking my molecules around like a tumbleweed on a dirt path to nowhere…and I think I just saw the Wicked Witch of the West fly by!?!?!?!?   How, how, HOW does one keep their feet on the ground and move forward without tripping?

Well after a good meltdown and boo-hoo fest (hello I’m human); my shiny light force life coach uttered 4 simple words. A journey of inches.  BAM – that’s good shit!  It was like taking a step off the high wire while trying to balance a 10 tonne rhino on my very sore shoulders and land safely and softly on two feet (without breaking a bone).  Let me say it again… a journey of inches. Now that sounds doable, manageable, focusable, plannable and non-freak-out-able.  Once more for good luck… A JOURNEY OF INCHES.  Just wee, tippy-toe, chug-a-chug-a choo-choo train movement forward in the general direction you want to go. Smaller than my average daily on slot of post-it-notes…just one slight shift, a baby bust-a-move bump that creates an impetus that spurs on and sparks up the evolution toward greatness.  I can do that!

You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

I think I love you by David Cassidy starring me on the tambourine.

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Today is a day that we celebrate love. Ideally every day should be that day. And although Hallmark would like us to think it’s just for those gooey-batty-eyed wuffers, I think there’s a lot more to it. For starters, Oxford Dictionary has about 7 inches of definitions delving into love. Love comes in many shapes and sizes, highs and lows, flavours, tastes, memories and sounds. It can be adorned in cliques or decked out in leather. It can be childlike, explosive or expressed in absolute silence. It can be as solid as chocolate, scrambled like an egg and it can shatter like glass. Many wear it on their sleeve, it’s in the air and apparently, it helps make the world go round. It comes in a kaleidoscope of colours from petal pink and fire engine red to black and navy blue. It’s something we all want to be in, and yet, it’s already in us. And although you can love yourself, and I mean that in more ways than one, I think love is best shared…like most things in life.

I love forests and fairies and I love potato pancakes with sour cream. I love my pets, my friends, my pink cowgirl boots, black licorice, squirrels, Pinky, Elly, Tuna, Charlie, Sadie, Alfie and Robert Downey Jr.  Clearly there are a million degrees of intensity when it comes to love and loving things and people. Sometimes it’s even really hard to love – like pickles for instance – but in the great scheme of life, I believe you can never say never and there’s a reason for the seasoning, even when we don’t like how it tastes. I’m lucky in love and feel extremely privileged to have experienced great loves and great love losses. And it has truly only been through those haves and have nots that I have figured out what real love is.

I use to think that love was so easily defined – you know “there-theres” from Mom, an invitation to the back seat of Russell Wangursky’s station wagon, romantic gestures, decent and indecent proposals, some form of white frock with token digging and doing till death did you part. But I don’t think that anymore.

I believe love is about patience, trust, surrender and compromise. I think love is incredibly rare and equally strange. I also believe it is so much more about giving then receiving. I think love needs to be handled with the utmost of care and respect and never be taken for granted. Love is a touch, a look, an energy and a way of being and if you have some, treasure it like gold but choose to share it freely. It’s uncontrollable and indefinable. It’s contagious and all consuming.  It is light and it is dark.  It just is. And if you believe in it, it will be yours.

So whether you choose to love your pickle, pringles or pet iguana; your parents,  partner in crime or even those fabulous red come fuck me pumps in the shop window …embrace it, open your heart, free your mind and create a space to let the magic in. Because love is everything and it’s everywhere.

 

The best sunrise I never saw.

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I just got back from being happily lost. Closed my eyes, spun around and wobbled off down an unknown path. Disappeared into a vortex of paradise, deliberately set myself adrift along a sandy, seashelly shore and let the waves wash me away. I wandered and wondered across brand new pebbles, swung on vines with some new furry friends, soaked up a sugar-infused sun, then howled and danced under a smiling crescent moon. I devoured decadence, lingered in lush and lusty nature, sat perfectly still, seduced by the lull of soporific waves. I befriended the strange, trusted the unusual, opened my mind to the differences and my heart to all. I let go of needing to know and choose to freely explore newfound twists and turns…all leading me towards my true direction.

Getting lost helps me find my way. It helps remind me who I am and where I want to be. It gives me a sense of direction to aim my compass in and take steps to get there. It teaches me that every path has a purpose – whether smooth, bumpy or even a dead end…each reveals what I need to discover, sometimes over and over again, yet ultimately leading me to the fork in the road, where the real adventure starts in choosing which to follow.

These choices come in all shapes and sizes – sometimes super easy – like calamari or prawns?  Mojitos or Margaritas?  OK not so easy. Others a little more challenging…like which monkey to hug…WHAT DO YOU MEAN JUST ONE???? IMPOSSIBLE!!!!  And the most interesting and important choices; those that will determine my state of happiness in any given moment.

The perfect example… the best sunrise I never saw.  It started with months of anticipation for what was touted as the highlight of my Bali trip, an extraordinary journey into the mountains along the crater rim road to an ancient fishing village on the edge of Lake Batur at the foot of the volcanic Mount Batur (1,717m above). The climb was scheduled to begin at 3am, taking approximately 2.5 hrs to reach the summit where we would be treated upon arrival to an awe-inspiring sunrise.  Instead what pursued was a treacherous trek in the pitch dark, up a slippery slope in an all out monsoon. Bundled in layers to fight off the biting winds, my dollar store raincoat inflated into a parachute, lifting me off the ground while gusts of up to 70 mph winds and knife pelting rain tore it’s cheap, plastic to shreds. The deluge of rain surged from the ground creating a horizontal waterfall for us to trudge through. The jagged lava infused rock face had to be navigated on hands and knees to secure our grounding and prevent certain death.  This was not your everyday easy walk in the park. But it was an adventure!  An all-out amazing adventure between humans and nature.  A test of spirit and will. And once we arrived at the summit, we sat under a tin roof, sipping the best worst coffee I’ve ever had in my life. When we stepped outside at dawn we were greeted by a thick white mass of mountain top clouds with zero visibility, zero chance of a sunrise and a 100% sense of teamwork, amazement and accomplishment…oh and there were monkeys there as well.  Life is good…especially when you choose to see it that way!