Kittens.

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Well… we’re not in Kansas anymore. Welcome to Kitten Ville! Hold on tight…as the last 72 hours have been nothing short of an apocalyptic adventure in adorableness.  Really what could two tiny 3-pound furballs of love do other than eat, sleep and cuddle?

Prepare for Ninja Kittens.

NOTHING IS SAFE – everything is edible. Including buttons, bells, feathers, carpet, cardboard, my crocks, my nose stud, the zip lock bag of lemons (that was sure a surprise) and my Awesome Sauce book cover (but thanks for being curious).

KITTENS MORPH INTO MICROSCOPIC VAPORS that slip into the tiniest of cracks. Like behind the piano, under my dresser, under my stone altar, into Fiend’s closet, inside my pillowcase and through the full proof baby gates to the death basement.

KITTENS FLY. All the way up to the 4th shelf where my unicorn collection was, catapulting across the piano onto the lampshade, grabbing the India wall hanging (aka new kitten swing) and finally levitating from the baby gate to the painting of Wonder Woman and leaping to the top of the refrigerator.

KITTENS LIKE TO TYPE on my keyboard while 278sjl.dm.ssahisdA  I’m typing.  Thanks for helping Charlie.

KITTENS REALLY LIKE TO POO, dig and toss around cat litter EVERYWHERE. They also don’t put their toys away.

KITTENS HAVE NON-STOP ENERGY – a kind of lightning bolt super- sonic, mad dash, gazelle-like, spazztic frantic zolt of zippity-do-da at the speed of light.

KITTENS JUST WANT TO BE YOUR 16 year old cat’s new best friend and will do everything to make sure he knows they are never going to stop trying. (Are they gone yet?)

KITTENS FALL ASLEEP ON HUMANS and make little kitten snore noises and dream little kitten dreams.

KITTENS CUDDLE, with themselves, all pretzeled up as one, and on their new mummy. Charlie is especially fond of sleeping in my hair while licking my forehead (I went to kitty utopia), while Sadie prefers deep cleavage.

KITTENS HAVE THE BEST BUMS, EARS, NOSES, WHISKERS, EYES, PAW PADS, KITTEN NOISES and BUMS…yes I said bums twice. (Obsessed Mamma)

I’ve done absolutely nothing for 4 days (which for those who know me is unheard of – I’ve usually built the ark or five by now)…all I have done is lie on the floor and talk in a high pitch voice understandable by kittens. I’ve had my hair, face, nose, lips and eye lashes licked better than any man has ever done. I’ve been pawed and kneaded on, head butted, purred to and trusted. I smell like wet cat food and I don’t care. We’ve entertained each other all day – playing toss the mouse, tickle the feather, climb the cardboard condo, chase the wombat and explored a whole house of super cool new scents, and amazing miracles like tap water and fingers under the sheets and discovered a plethora of knick knacks to knock down, scratch and destroy…and I still don’t care. For the first time in a long time; since Angus died, I actually feel my heart filling up. I feel love and it’s all because of these two perfect little monkey kittens –  Charlie and Sadie who may be super small in size but make up for it in enormous kittenoisty loviation.

And just in case you didn’t realize…..Love at first sight is possible.

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