Patty-isms 101

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For those of you who know me, know I like to make up words.  What you may not know…it’s not always been on purpose.  I’ll let you in on a little secret…one of my superpowers is that I am Dyslexic (GAWD that word is hard to spell).

Way back in the olden days, when I was a tot, teachers and parents were not as aware of learning challenges as they are today.  Let’s just say I spent a lot of time in the “special” class.  I struggled with spelling, reading, writing and speaking.  My brain would work at bullet speed but the link from brain to mouth was on sloth mode.  The alphabet was a blur of nonsense. Individual numbers and letters were animated shapes that danced.  Words were unspeakable, impossible to decipher or pronounce. Voices and incessant talking sometimes caused me to zone out to Mars. Instructions or rules like grammar were instantly forgettable and as if that wasn’t enough to make an already super shy kid feel like they were stupid – I also experienced extended hearing…hearing things not actually said…yup voices in my head!  I didn’t feel crazy at all.

Luckily for me I had a very unique and magical Dad who saw my peculiarities as perks. Perks that lead me to hone in and celebrate my own unique way of expressing my observations, ideas and feelings.  Perks that ironically helped me to become a very clever and creative writer (who btw can not spell).  I remember my Dad sitting with me at my tiny desk in a tiny chair teaching me to think with images and feelings. Even today I think with my eyes closed because I can see the pictures better, travel down the corridors on my brain hallways, open the different drawers where the memories and pictures are kept safe and sound.  He also helped me practice saying words by making up rhymes. If (and when) I flubbed them up he’d just tell me to say it with confidence and eventually people would figure it out.  So as the story goes – I’d say tons of words perhaps closely related to what I thought my brain was meaning but they’d come out a little jumbled or completely re-invented.  But gosh darn it – I said them with such confidence that they now exist within the collection of my vocabulary.

Some of my favourite made up words are mash ups, smash ups, completely bastardized or simply redefined….

Benane – the combo of benign and inane – meaning “safely stupid.”

Endolphins – the combo of endorphins and dolphins – meaning “the euphoric release of happiness reminiscent of frolicking dolphins.”

Loviation – “Infusing amplified action into the state of love thus creating an even bigger expression.”

And my all time #1 fave is more of a philosophical belief that inspired me to create an evolved expression of the word “love” because I felt it was being overused and under valued….ex:  I love llamas, I love peanut butter, I love Robert Doweny Jr.  So I decided to take a word that already had a lot of moxie and oomph attached to it and redefine it.  The word I chose was “slut”. I felt sorry for it always having such a bad wrap.  And to up the ante on my new word I set a precedence that it could only be attached to the one single most all encompassing thing you love (or slut for). Only one thing – whether that be butterscotch, llamas or Robert Downey Jr.  For me this one thing is camping (or kamping as I like to spell it) and so the word Kamperslut was born.

So go for it!  I encourage you to think about the one absolute thing you slut for and use it with enthusiasm and confidence!  And….just so you have back up for when you use it… and people look at you like you are insane…my new and improved definition of slut is as follows:

Slut – An extreme intensity of “vanting, needing, must having” that defies and over powers all previous levels defined by humankind and transcends existing degrees of yearning, coveting, impassion, craving, itching, lusting, hungering, thirsting and suspiring for to possess or have.

To slut for something is a deep rooted and spiritual commitment to your inner being that resonates beyond the realm of antiquated language and laws.   It is the epiphanic divine manifestation of a moment of sudden revelation and supernatural essentiality of life.

….and with that said I truly am a Kamperslut!

PS.  My recently published book “How to Live Like a Chipmunk and Other Tips on Living an Awesome Sauce Life” has a glossary at the back for all my made-up Patty-isms!

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